Thank Goodness

I love being a Mother. The job that comes along with it isn't always that easy. What am I saying? It is rarely easy!! Don't get me wrong though. I absolutely love my family and would do anything (and most of the time everything) for them. But since I've been feeling down this week, being a Mother has been difficult. It has been hard to get up every morning, make the school lunches, take my children to school, clean up the house during the day, pick them up from school, take them to their sport activities, make dinner and help them get ready for bed. Somewhere in make a little time for myself. (My husband does help out a lot when he gets home from work. I don't want it to sound like I do everything.) This is my typical day, by-the-way. But the last couple of days I haven't wanted to get out of bed, or clean up the house, or make dinner. I'm sure a lot of Mothers can relate to that. Thank goodness I have my family though. They are the reason I pull myself together and do what I need to to get through each day!

I haven't figured out what my purpose is yet. I once thought it was helping others succeed at work. I was good at that. I have been told that I have great leadership qualities, every since I was in high school. But I never wanted to be more than a Store Manager for a bank. I wanted to retire that way. I loved being able to help develop others in their careers, so they could advance in the company. Never did I want that for myself. But, since life threw me a curveball this past year, what I thought was my purpose went out the window. Maybe my purpose is just to help my children succeed.

I asked my Mom once what she thought her purpose in life is, and she told me she knew it was to have children and raise them. My Mom is a saint! She had eleven children and raised them. I have two children and struggle everyday! My Mom also had a stroke when she was about 45 years old. So, she had to deal with a lot of medical issues like I do now. I was nine years old at the time and didn't quite understand it all. Looking back on it now, I am amazed at how she handled everything. I don't think I ever saw her down. She stayed at home during the day with the children, and worked at night. I can't recall ever seeing her just completely exhausted or drained. Like I said...a saint!

My son is going to be seven years old soon. He doesn't really understand what has happened to me, but knows that there is something wrong. He loves to show everyone the wicked scar on the back of my neck. He thinks it's cool. I don't. I also have to explain to him things I can't do with my hands. He loves to play video games. We have a Wii and he always wants me to play. I have to tell him that I can't even hold the remote, but I'll watch him play. That seems to be a good alternative for him.

The best thing about not going back to work is being able to spend more time than ever with my family. My husband and I both worked full-time so the children had to be in daycare. When my son started kindergarten, we couldn't believe how behind he was mentally and emotionally. Physically he is where he should be. Last summer, since I became a stay-at-home mom, I took on the project of getting him up to speed with school. When he finished kindergarten, he was at a level 1 with reading. They wanted him to be at a level 3. When he started first grade, he was at a level 4 with reading. I worked with him on other things like writing and spelling, but reading was his biggest accomplishment. We still are working with him on emotional issues, but I think that will be a forever work-in-process. I'm still going through that with my 13-year old daughter! It never ends! Eventually it all falls into place. But with my support and direction 100% of the day, it's coming together sooner.

I suppose that my new purpose in life is my family. I am very grateful for them, as they really are helping me through this. Thank goodness especially for my son, Anthony and my daughter, Ashley. They really are great children and I do appreciate that I need to provide for them. I grateful that I still can. I'm glad (most of the time) that they bug me to do things for them. If they didn't, I'd still be in bed. I don't want to leave out my husband, but he can make his own dinner! I'm joking! The first thing he did when he came home yesterday was give me a hug. He knew I needed that after reading my blog yesterday.

So, today I'm better. Thank goodness I have my family. Thank goodness I have the support from everyone in my life. I need it. It will absolutely get my through this.