A Decade In The Making

10 years down, 40 to go! Jason and I have been married for ten years now! What a milestone for us! As I reflect on those years I realize how different our life together is now from where we started. But I'm okay with that because I truly believe our life, our marriage is much stronger now than it ever has been. We, of course, have had our ups and downs just like everyone else. But we always come out of difficult times together. We definitely have more ups than downs, but we sure have had some challenging times!

I never had any doubts about Jason. I still don't. I never will. He really is the one for me. He is my everything. He is my light that leads me to where I need to be. He has stuck by me through everything I've been going through in my life. And I know that hasn't been easy for him. When we said our vows, I knew from that moment on, we would be forever. I am a person who doesn't believe in divorce. I knew that if I got married, that was it. Divorce would never be an option. And I stick by that today. I would never get married thinking, "If it doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce." That's a little too convenient and doesn't seem like a happy life to me. For sure marriage has difficult times, but so does life. I would rather think, "It's all worth working through those tough times, because there are so many great times ahead."

We never really do much for our anniversaries. I know that may sound strange, but we decided a long time ago that we wouldn't get each other presents. Instead, we do something for the house. We do some kind of home improvement project. I would rather add value to my house than add something sparkly to my jewerly collection (which I don't wear anymore). I am happy with just my gold wedding band (which I replaced after losing it).

So this year, we are going to start on improving our landscaping. Jason will be putting up a new fence and hopefully build a new deck. Maybe next year we will have the money for the actual landscaping, but that will probably be something we hire someone for. We also need to repaint the outside of the house. So, it's a lot to do but that's our gift to ourselves. Okay, well maybe that's Jason's gift to me because he'll be doing most of the work. I do have to supervise the whole project, and I'm sure that will be a tough job! :)

Happy 10 year anniversary Jason! Let's make sure we make it to the next milestone!

Dance Baby Girl, Dance!

Ashley had a dance performance on Saturday, which was a show that had dancers from Loveland, Greeley, Fort Collins and Longmont to raise money for breast cancer. Ashley's dance studio participates every year, and this was the second time she did a solo.

She did a beautiful job! Of course, I will always see her as my baby girl. But it is amazing how she has grown and matured. She is a fabulous dancer. I don't think I could ever get on stage in front of hundreds of people, and she does this several times a year with various dance performances. In this show, she did 4 different dances. All of her dances were wonderful, but my favorite was her solo on pointe. She also did 2 lyrical dances and a tap dance. We loved her tap also. It's always one of her best dances.

I am so proud of her! She choreographed the dance herself, which she spent 4 months preparing for it. Just being able to do that amazes me! This is the second time she choreographed a dance. Her first solo she did, she was about 11 years old. She is now 13 years old. What talent she has!

Here she is...dancing her heart out!

Is This Week Over Yet?

This has been one of the longest weeks of my life! Jason has been out of town on a business trip...well actually he's been in Las Vegas. He is there for work, but I'm sure he is doing a little playing during some of his free time. He is staying with Mom and Dad, which is great he was able to do that and not have to be put in a hotel. But thinking back to our time in Vegas...I guess I'm a little jealous!

This has been a crazy week for us though. Anthony started his new swim lessons session and he has moved up to level 4, which means he swims at a later time. Ashley has been getting ready for her dance performance on Saturday, so there is an extra level of stress around the house. She also has been having her regular dance classes, which are normally late because she is also in upper level classes. It's getting close to the end of the school year, and she seems to have a bunch of projects coming due as well.

Also, the in-laws are coming into town this weekend (I'm not complaining on that one!) and I've been cleaning up the house preparing for their visit. Really, I'm not complaining. I absolutely love my in-laws. They are the coolest in-laws you could ask for. They are so down-to-earth and easy going. And it's great to have some help with the kids when they are around. We don't get to see them very often because they live on the western slope, 6 hours away. Actually, they retired this past year, and they have been living in Arizona as snow-birds for the last 4 months. Anyway, I'm sure they wouldn't care if I didn't get the house cleaned up...but I care.

I have done EVERYTHING this week...and it's been a bitch! Surprisingly I haven't drank a lot of wine this week, but that's because I haven't had time to drink, and I've been so exhausted I really haven't felt like drinking. That's for sure a downside to this week!

I am missing my husband. The bed is lonely at night. It's too big for just one person. I am missing him helping me out. I can't do all of this on my own. I am just missing him altogether! I am ready for this week to end! Come on Friday!!! Get here already!!!

What A Year!

I have been reflecting a lot lately on this past year. It has been exactly one year ago today when I had my second surgery to remove my tumor in my spinal cord. WOW! One year ago. It's hard to believe it. How promising that surgery seemed once I came out of it. Yet how quickly that changed when test results revealed more tumors, just a few months after that surgery. A what a year it has been. A complete roller coaster of a ride. (And I don't like roller coasters! They make me sick to my stomach due to my vertigo. Another fabulous ailment I suffer from.)

My life has become a 180 from where I was a year ago. I have gone through many changes physically, mentally, emotionally. Of course many of those changes were not by choice, rather forced on me by my new life. Something I had to get used to, and eventually just deal with. But hey...I have survived all of that. I wouldn't say I am more stable, but I'm working my way back to that. And I'm sure I'll reach that point again someday. In the meantime, I guess I just take everything one day at a time.

I have been having more good days than bad recently, so that is definitely promising. The sun has been shining a lot brighter in my life lately. I suppose I have just embraced what has been put in front of me. Most people who know me know that whatever challenge I have to face, I do it with enormous determination. And I will succeed. There is no failing for me. It's a word I don't associate with. So, this past year I have had determination to not let this disease beat me. So far, so good.

I have also been thinking a lot about what this summer will bring for me. The kids have exactly one month left of school. One month! Unbelievable! Last summer I had a lot of help from my parents and in-laws to help me with the kids while they were out of school. This summer? I'm on my own for most of it. I mean, of course Jason is here, but he works during the day. He is very helpful at night when he gets home, but summertime switches so most of kids' activities are during the day. In other words, I will become the perma-taxi driver...ALL DAY LONG! I am hopeful that I will have enough energy to get me through those three months. What am I saying!? I'm actually praying that I have enough energy to survive those three long months!

On the other hand, I am excited about summertime with my kids. I am looking into more activities we can do together. We really didn't get to do too much last year, as I spent most of it recovering from my surgery and then radiation treatments. This summer I am free from all that! So I have vowed to make the best of it.

Bean and Pepperoni Stuffed Steak with Orange Salad

I have never done a stuffed steak before, so I thought what better time to do it when Jason has a food challenge for me! If it didn't turn out right, I could always blame it on the ingredients chosen. But surprisingly, it was pretty delicious. I keep surprising myself with putting these ingredients together and somehow making it work. The pictures, however didn't turn out very clear and I probably should have taken one of the steak cut, so you could see it in the spiral form. Anyway...this is what we got.

This food challenge was last week's and the challenge ingredients were: refried beans, pepperoni, oranges and green leaf lettuce.

Bean and Pepperoni Stuffed Steak

1 tbsp olive oil
1-2 lb beef top round
15 oz canned refried beans
1/2 cup shredded monterey jack cheese
1/2 cup pepperoni slices


Heat oil in medium skillet over medium-high heat.

Tenderize steak and flatten so steak is 1/4-inch thick. Season with salt and pepper. Layer refried beans, cheese and pepperoni slices evenly on steak. Roll steak into a cylinder shape. Place seam side down in skillet, cooking until just browned. Turn carefully to brown other side of meat, about 3 minutes each side.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Place steak roll on baking sheet and finish cooking in oven, for about another 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let sit for about 5 mintues. Cut steak to form spiral servings.

Orange Salad

1 head green leaf lettuce, cut into bite-size pieces
2 oranges, peeled and cut into wedges
1/2 cup sliced roasted red bell pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tsp basil
salt and pepper to taste

Place lettuce, oranges and red bell pepper in large salad bowl. Mix oil, vinegar, basil and salt and pepper in a small bowl. Pour over salad and toss to mix.

Enjoy!

Weighing In

My son's "schools on the move" challenge finished at the end of March. We focused on eating more fruits and vegetables, having less screen time and doing more physical activity. Since he was doing this for school, I decided to really have all of us participate to help him. It was pretty easy to get it going. And once we did, it was even easier to keep it going for the two months.

Ashley and Anthony both do a lot of physical activity already, with Ashley in dance and Anthony in swim lessons. There wasn't much to change with that part, but we did do more of playing "just dance 1 & 2" on the wii as a family. We had a blast doing that, and it was fun to beat everyone at it! Ashley didn't like that too much, but I just told her that I have dance moves she never even knew.

We didn't have much difficulty with eating more fruits and vegetables. It's just something we always eat. But making sure we got 5 servings a day was a little more than I thought it would be. We did it though, for almost everyday in those two months. Since our vacation though, we've cut back on so much of the fruits and vegetables, but I'm getting it going again. I find it pretty easy to get back on track with better eating habits.

The hardest part of this challenge was the screen time. We did limit his t.v. time, but we allowed him to play his video games more on the weekends. He did really good during the week though. He stuck to his 2 hours those days and what I thought was awesome was he did that on his own. He set his timer and followed it. When the buzzer went off, he turned off the t.v. and found something else to do. But on the weekends, we gave him reward time for doing good in school, so we didn't follow the 2 hour limit on those days. But he definitely had less screen time than usual.

MY biggest focus during this time was better eating habits. I wouldn't say that I had bad eating habits, but I just wanted to have better choices with food. I really tried to follow the food pyramid completely, and I did...for about 1 week. I just found that it was SO MUCH FOOD. I seriously got sick of eating. So, instead, I just cut back on portion sizes. I ate smaller meals more often during the day. (As Mom and Dad would call it "grazing".) I probably had 4-5 meals a day, but really it felt more like snacks. I started eating breakfast again...regularly. (I had a bad habit of just having coffee before.) I still stuck to the proper food groups...whole grains, fruits, vegetables, dairy and proteins. But I limited my amount of meats and eggs. I ate more from the bean, nuts and seeds catagories. I also had more dairy than I ever have. I don't like milk so I ate more from the cheese and yogurt catagories. And, of course, I had already switched almost everything to the whole grains. I think by doing this I just increased my metabolism, so I was able to burn off calories just by following this. I didn't focus too much on exercise. Even going for a 15-minute walk wears me out like you wouldn't believe. I did, however, try to do more things around the house just so I wouldn't be sitting around.

Now, my goal was not to lose a lot of weight. It was just so I could feel better about myself. And it worked! I really do feel better. I hardly ever weigh myself. I don't like focusing on a number. I don't care what size I wear in clothes. Again, it's just a number. But, when I had my doctor appointments in January and April they weighed me. So I know from that I have lost 15 lbs. According to the charts for BMI (body mass index) I still need to lose 10 more lbs to not be considered overweight. Whatever. If I do, I do. If not, I'm not going to feel bad about myself. As long as I continue to feel good about how I eat, I'm completely happy.

So, I will continue to follow the food pyramid. It seems to be working for me. We'll see what the next 3 months do for me! :)

Wild Game Bacon Cheeseburgers and Berry Parfait

This is what you get when you have a bunch of antelope meat still in the freezer from hunting season. What can I say? My husband is a redneck. However, I have made this more of a gourmet version of a bacon cheeseburger. And the parfait thing? Well, it isn't the traditional parfait, but I couldn't think of anything else to call it.

This was a food challenge Jason gave me the week before spring break vacation. And I'm just now getting around to blogging about it. I have another one I did last week, and I'm sure I'll blog about that one later this week.

We had initially decided to do a food challenge every week. They have become quite interesting and fun for me, but I'm having a hard time keeping up with the actually blogging about it. I don't write anything down when I do the food challenges. I probably couldn't even read it anyway due to my disability. So, I basically just go off memory once I blog. This has led to me having more simplified meals...just so I can remember all the ingredients! I could have Jason write it down for me, but that would be too easy. Gosh...I just love any kind of challenge I guess! :)

I have decided to take the next 2 weeks off of food challenges. My blog seems to be turning into a food blog, and that was not my intention. I don't mind it, but I would like the opportunity to blog about other things for awhile.

This food challenge: ground italian antelope meat, oats, honey, blackberries

Wild Game Bacon Cheeseburgers

1 lb ground italian antelope meat
1 lb ground chuck (80/20)
1 pkg cherry tomatoes
1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup oats
1 tbsp dried italian seasoning
1 pkg crumbled gorgonzola cheese
12 slices precooked bacon
6 whole wheat hamburger buns


Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spread cherry tomatoes on baking sheet. Top with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Toss to coat. Cook for 15 minutes, until tomatoes are soft and just starting to burst open. Cool for 5 minutes.

Heat grill to medium-high heat.

Mix ground antelope and chuck meats in medium bowl. Add oats and italian seasoning. Season with salt and pepper. Add tomatoes and mix well. Form into palm-size patties. Cook for 15 minutes. Lightly toast hamburger buns. Top burgers with gorgonzola cheese and bacon.


Berry Parfaits

1/2 pkg strawberries, sliced
1/2 pkg blackberries
2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup greek yogurt
1 tbsp honey
1/4 tsp nutmeg
6 shortcake rounds


Mix berries, lemon juice and sugar in a medium bowl.

Mix yogurt, honey and nutmeg in a small bowl.

Top each shortcake round with berry mixture then yogurt mixture. Top with raspberry candies if desired.

Enjoy!

Breathing Life Into Spring

For the first time in a long time I feel ALIVE today. I don't know what has gotten into me, but I feel GREAT! Maybe it's the spring weather or the flowers starting to bloom? I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it is having a major affect on me. Maybe, now that winter is over, I am starting to feel like I need to come out of hiding and not be such a home-body now.

I try to do things here-and-there around my house throughout the week, but today I'm starting to feel like it's spring-cleaning time. I don't want to sit around and watch t.v. or movies (my favorite pastime). I want to get the cleaning supplies out and start scrubbing away the dust and dirt. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Who in their right mind WANTS to clean?

Okay, so I probably won't be doing a lot of scrubbing today, but I'm going to dust off the blinds and open them up to let the light shine in. That's a start at least.

I think what is really going on is I just feel like playing some music loud, dancing around my house and singing as loud as I can. So I might as well put the duster in my hand and make good use of it. I went on itunes this morning and added some new songs into my ipod. I love music! I can't play an instrument myself and I'm not the best singer, but I just absolutely love how music fills my soul and makes me feel...however I want to.

I probably sound a little crazy today, but I don't care. I will just play some crazy music then! :)

I'm Definitely Not On Vacation Anymore

I wanted to blog a whole lot more this week than what I did. But I was so busy with getting back to the "normal" schedule, I was not able to spare one moment to blog. It was tragic!

This last week I somehow decided that it was a great week to schedule the dentist and doctor appointments. I was, afterall, refreshed from my vacation week. It seemed like a good week to get those ever-so-important appointments done. Wow! I was wrong. It turned out to be an even more crazy week to have all those things crammed into our already hectic schedule. But then, when is it ever a good week to see the doctors? Of course, my opinion is slightly skewed and I'm sure everyone knows my answer to that.

But, since I'm on the subject, I will tell everyone about my appointment with my oncologist. I had my 3 month MRI and it's actually better news than last time. There was no new growth in my tumor, which is really great news. But, she did tell me that I will never have a normal MRI again. I will always have a damaged spinal cord and there will never be "improvement". But as long as my tumor seems stable, we can go a little longer with monitoring it. So now, I don't have to have another MRI for 6 months. I'm happy with that. Even though I still have effects from the damage that the radiation and the tumor have done to me, I feel good that for now it's stablized. It's definitely something to be positive about. And if I don't have to deal with the doctors for another 6 months, I will be ecstatic for sure! :)

Back To Reality

Okay...the vacation is over. :( It's back to reality for me now. What a bummer!

We had such a great time in Las Vegas. We didn't get to do everything we wanted (because there is so much to do there!) but I guess that means we will have to go back again next year!! :) We won't wait another three years to go out there and see Mom and Dad. That's too long!
It was an excellent time to be had by everyone, as Dad would say. And it really was! Good times to be had by all! Those are my new favorite phrases.

We went to New York, New York and played in the arcade. We visited the M&M store and watched the 3-D movie (and spent way too much on different colored M&M's!). We went and saw the Lion King at Mandalay Bay (fantastic show, but I lost an earring. Oh well!). We went to Circus, Circus and played A LOT of carnival games and won A LOT of stuffed animals. (I don't know how we got them all packed up in the suitcases!) We went to the park. We went swimming and I somehow lost my wedding band in the pool, opps! Time for a new one, Jason. We went bowling at the Suncoast and Anthony beat me and Ashley. We drove down the strip and looked at all the hotels and casinos and stores. We ate at In-N-Out Burger (Anthony's new favorite place to eat). And of course Mom and Dad took us to Arizona Charlie's for a delicious meal. The weather was so nice out there that Ashley even got to lay out in the sun and got a little tanned. I drove around and got lost a few times, but I like to say we took the scenic tour of Las Vegas. You don't always visit those areas when you go out there!

It was definitely a kid's vacation. But I truly enjoyed all the things we did. Ashley and Anthony absolutely loved spending that time with Grandma and Grandpa. We can't wait to see them again!

This week, however, I'm back to doing the laundry, paying the bills (ugh!), cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, running errands, taking the kids to all their activities, etc. etc. Well...the vacation was fun while it lasted. Too bad it can't last forever. I sure wasn't the one who won the MegaMillions. Darn! I'll just tell myself that hard work is more rewarding! :)