From SuperMom to Servant Mom

Almost six years ago I was diagnosed with an ependymoma, which is a neurological tumor. Mine is called an intramedullary ependymoma, which means the tumor grows inside my spinal cord. These types of tumors only account for 2-4% of all intrinsic tumors in the central nervous system, much less than even brain tumors. And about 1.1 out of 100,000 people are diagnosed with this.  I had surgery to remove the massive tumor that was renting space from C2-C7 in the cervical area of my spinal cord. (The cervical area is only from C1-C8.) I was told there was a possibility it could grow back, and guess what?...it did. Last year another tumor was found. This time I was told it was cancer. Even though this is a recurrent tumor, I only claim to have been diagnosed with cancer last year. It's probably because that's how the doctor's treated it.

After the first surgery I went back to work, after 2 weeks in a rehabilitation center and 2 months of at-home physical and occupational therapy. I did have some difficulties and impairments, but I was not going to let that stop me from being SuperMom. I had a 7-year old daughter and a 1-year old son at the time. And of course, I had my husband. I WAS going to still be that "working mother by day, SuperMom at night" kind of person. I worked a 50+ hour/week job that would escalate me to success as the career woman I wanted to be, needed to be for my family. I would be a co-provider financially, and an ideal wife every man wants: do the laundry, clean the house, cook the meals, take care of the children, and still have time for him at night (if you know what I mean) all in a day's work. And I was, for the most part. Okay the house wasn't always that clean on a daily basis, and maybe sometimes I let the clothes sit in the dryer all week, and maybe my husband didn't get the attention he always wanted. But I was still bound and determined to do it all!

Last year, I had a second surgery to remove the recurrent tumor that was renting space again, but never seemed to pay-up! This time it was only growing from C4-C5, much smaller than the first but still just as annoying and troublesome. The worst part of it all was the tumors had done their damage to me, permanently! Whatever function I gained back after the first surgery, I lost once again. I had to give up my career that I worked for almost 10 years doing. That may not have seemed so bad...not having to work for someone again. There are some advantages to that I suppose. Little did I know my world was going to change drastically. I would now be working for...MY FAMILY! Hardest job ever! And imagine doing this job with major permanent impairments like not having full use of your hands! How can I get through it?

As I continue to blog, I will dive into what my daily life is like with the disabilities I have. I know there are lessons to be learned throughout this process. I'm ready to start figuring them out, and maybe I can help someone out along the way...whoever that may be. Even if it is just me, that's okay. I need all the help I can get at this point! :)