Did Our Parents Go Through This?

Every week I help out in my son's first grade classroom. I work with the children on various projects, depending on what is going on during the week. I read to them, help them write and spell, and help them with coloring and cutting out pictures. I'm only there for about an hour and a half, but it is plenty of time. There are days I wonder how the teacher gets through it all. There 27 students in there. Too many for one teacher. And there are about seven of the students who are...let's say "challenging". My son is one of them.

Anthony is what you would call highly emotional. He really is a sweet, loving and caring boy. But on the other end of the spectrum, he is very sensitive and can let his emotions get in the way of..well...thinking. I know we can't expect children to rationalize very well, but it sure would be easier if they did. I used to think he was just a typical boy who's competitive, which he is. He wants to have things his way all the time. He wants to be the first for everything. If he doesn't get it his way or doesn't win, he sometimes has a meltdown. I really thought this was normal behavior, especially for his age. But this year, I've been working more with people at his school on what really is the problem with his behavior.

Let me first say that Anthony is not a "troublemaker" at school. He doesn't get in fights. He's not mean to other kids. He gets along with everyone. His worst enemy is himself. He has a problem with not handling his emotions. He can't seem to control his feelings well. When he gets upset, he sometimes takes it to a level where he cannot calm down. In his mind, he thinks he has to do everything perfectly. If he doesn't, he gets upset at himself. This can be vey distracting in the classroom.

He works with the therapists at school to help deal with his emotions. Even more than that, they are working with him on how to somehow rationalize what he's thinking when something goes awry. They are working with him on talking through his feelings, so it is okay to have them, but to be able to stay on task with things he needs to do. They also ask that we do the same thing with him here at home. They call it self-dictating.

I don't have a problem with that because we have already been doing things to help Anthony with his behavior issues. We tend to do more reward options because we want him to realize what consequences are as well. The interesting thing about all this is, we are using the same techniques with our daughter. Most days I feel like I have two teenagers at home. Even though Anthony is six years younger than Ashley, they are essentially going through similiar issues right now. Ashley was the exact opposite as Anthony at his age. She was very calm and easy-going. So I'm hoping when he is her age now, we will be through with this stage.

Kids seem to be so different these days. Maybe it's just different issues we are dealing with now. It seems like the times have changed. I guess the best thing we can do is take each day as it comes, deal with each obstacle one-by-one, and be positive we will get through these tough and challenging times with our children.